Why You Should Set Boundaries

If you struggle to set boundaries, these may sound familiar:

"I give and I give and I give, and no one ever gives anything to me."

"I have asked for it, I have screamed for it, I have begged for it. It's been all ask and no give."

"My mother will ask me to do things knowing that I don't have time, but she expects me to do these things anyway. She called me the other day to ask to help her move, but I have everything else to do. I tried saying no but she started guilt tripping me and now I have to rearrange my whole schedule for her."

These are the exact words from some of my clients.

If you feel pulled in a million directions and like you never have time to do anything you need to do - then you are in desperate need of some boundaries.

Saying no to things that you aren't excited about or one hundred percent in on allows you to say yes to bigger things, to things that align with your dreams and goals - which means your life belongs to you again instead of to everyone else.

For most people, they have been taught since they were young that you have to put other's needs above your own and its selfish to do otherwise - in being taught this, selfish becomes a bad word and something to be avoided at all costs. I work with a lot of people who have no idea how to set boundaries and end up resentful, angry and miserable because of it. Friend, there is so much more to life than self-sacrifice and self-betrayal. When you say yes to things you don't actually want or want to do, you are betraying yourself and creating misalignment; your body remembers this and each time you are telling yourself and proving to yourself that you aren't worth being taken care of and prioritized. This creates anxiety, depression and misery.

What Do Boundaries Even Do Though?

Boundaries protect your time, energy and possessions. When you are in a cycle of people pleasing - trying to be everything to everyone, always saying yes because you're afraid to let people down - your life belongs to the person who you are currently trying to make happy. We both know this is a recipe for misery, because you cannot possibly make everyone happy and so you end up miserable and overwhelmed.

The antidote is to only say YES to things that you actually want to do, have time to do and can do. When you start saying yes to ONLY these things it doesn't mean that you never make sacrifices of help anyone again, but it does mean that you do it whole heartedly. The great secret is, once you are setting boundaries consistently, you are actually going to improve all of your relationships, because they will be more authentic and giving.

I want you to say NO more.

🚫 To things that don't support your health - garbage foods, overtraining, starving yourself, too much screen time, mind altering substances, restrictive diets, going to bed late, over working...

🚫 To things that don't support your soul - toxic relationships, overworking, not sleeping, too much social media, the news, abusive partners and friends, things you cant afford...

🚫 To things that drain you - invitations you don't actually want to go to, work projects (if you can), workouts, foods, favors, parties, people...

So you can say YES to the things that

💖 Sustain your health - nourishing foods, real and whole foods, sleep/rest, movement, nature, fun, play...

💖 Fill your soul - time with friends you actually like, resting more, self care, activities you enjoy, being more present, hobbies, people you adore and who adore you...

💖 Light a fire in you - projects you like working on, workouts you love doing, books you love reading, movies you love watching, travelling

When you say no to things that are not a fuck yes, you really are saying yes to yourself. Saying no to things that don't actually work for you leave a lot more room for magic to happen and for alignment to occur, and leaves more room for FUN because you are decreasing friction - you know the friction I am talking about - when you say yes to something you absolutely don't want to do, you dread it and drag and there is just a heaviness to it. I know you've felt friction - that feeling you get when you are just struggling and it feels soooo hard to do things - it may be because you are doing the wrong things way too often and not prioritizing yourself at all.

This dampens your whole life, totally drains your energy and amplifies your worst traits. It doesn't have to be this way, because boundaries protect you - your energy, your peace, your time. Once you start saying YES to yourself things are much more calm and you actually experience more peace. If you want to learn how to do more of that, join Boundaries Baddie 👄 where you learn how to create a life you love waking up to.