Hyper-Independence Is A Trauma Response: What To Do When Asking For Help Feels Like Eating Hot Mayonnaise - From A Trauma Therapist.

Repeat after me: "I am not a burden. Relationships are supposed to be reciprocal." Sure you can try and go through life alone, but it's literally not possible. Humans have come this far only because we help each other. Hell, you didn't even come into this life alone, you were supported to come into this world and were supported to get to where you are now. Were you well supported? Maybe not. Maybe you learned early on that your job was to take care of others. Maybe you learned early on that the way to create safety or to get love was to be useful and to not be a burden. How clever of you then to become very independent, and perhaps now those same skills aren't necessary.

Mind works in some specific ways to ensure our survival, and becoming hyper independent to the point where asking for help or accepting help feels like eating a jar of mayonnaise that's been left out in the sun for a few hours is a trauma response. Somewhere along the way you learned that you couldn't trust others or rely on them. Makes sense then, not so useful now. This episode will help you reprogram that so you feel comfortable accepting help and building reciprocal relationships.

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