There Are Better Places To Find Cheese Than A Mouse Trap How Trauma Keep You Retraumatizing Yourself

Perhaps you find yourself in crisis after crisis, situationship after situationship or constantly putting out fires. That can be so exhausting, and let me tell you why that's happening. Trauma retunes your nervous system for chaos. Humans are adaptable little gremlins, in fact we're so good that we will learn how to thrive in chaos. Because your system sets trauma as the default, when you start healing you may find yourself unconsciously seeking out drama and chaos.

In this episode I talk about the science behind why that happens, and why its a problem. I discuss how the nervous system adapts to match the environment and why it takes awareness and intentional action to heal.

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Title:

There Are Better Places To Find Cheese Than A Mouse Trap - How Trauma Keeps You Retraumatizing Yourself. Insights From A Trauma Therapist.

Blog Post:

Title: There Are Better Places To Find Cheese Than A Mouse Trap - How Trauma Keeps You Retraumatizing Yourself. Insights From A Trauma Therapist.

Introduction:

In this episode, I dive into the theme of seeking fulfillment and happiness in healthy and safe places, instead of places that ultimately hurt us. In essence, if your goal is to get cheese, there are much better places to find it than a mousetrap 🐭🪤. No decapitated mice here please and thank you. Let's explore breaking free from destructive patterns and finding true peace and happiness. Yes, even if you have a history of totally garbage relationships.

The Power of Environment and Expectations:

I was pretty lucky growing up, in that I grew up in a pretty loving and supportive family, where reciprocal relationships, boundaries, and respect for my voice was the norm. I cannot tell you how many times I was dead wrong about something, and my parents stood by me anyways. They always had my back, and this taught me a valuable lesson - love is support. Even with that though, there were some problematic dynamics in my family which reared their ugly head while I was with my first husband. I remember standing in a shop at the farm late one night, getting screamed at by my then husband and being told all the ways I was just like my father, and realizing that "oh my God. I married a man who was the absolute worst version of my dad." Cruel when angry, emotionally absent, punishing. Mind you, this wasn't how my dad was 99% of the time, but oh, that one percent he could be awful. If we're not careful, we end up like our parents.

In my work with clients, I often teach that our family dynamics shape our relational dynamics for the rest of our lives. Often, we're doing a lot of work around healing relational wounds - most often the biggest and earliest source of trauma.

Since not everyone has experienced this kind of healthy environment and may not be aware that better options exist, you may find yourself stuck in a pattern of drama, trauma and pain, not understanding why. This even seeps into other aspects of your life, like how you interact with people who seem to be happy. Many of my clients initially believe that my happiness is fake because they've never seen or experienced happiness themselves. It can really challenge their idea of happiness and freedom if they don't have anyone in their life who is genuinely happy.

Discovering a Different Way of Living:

Through my work, so much of what my clients and I do is unravelling what they've been taught, how they've been programmed and the operations they've been unconsciously running so they can live free, happy, clear. The life you've known isn't all there is, and whatever it is you want, I guarantee you can find someone embodying that right now.

Avoiding Harmful Coping Mechanisms:

This episode emphasizes the negative effects of certain coping mechanisms, such as drinking and overworking, on long-term well-being. Again, if you want cheese, there are better places than a mousetrap. These coping mechanisms providing temporary relief but ultimately leading to more problems and result in self sabotaging and eventually it feels like you're drowning. There are better ways.

Unawareness and Seeking Happiness in Unhealthy Places:

It's helpful to understand the influence of your environment and upbringing on your understanding of normalcy and coping mechanisms. If you grew up in a house where no one talked about how they felt but they fought all the time, guess what you'll likely be doing in your relationships. If one parent worked and the other stayed home and managed the house, you'll grow up thinking that dynamic is normal. And it is, for you. Many people continue to engage in harmful behaviors because they're unaware of other options, or because these other options seem too hard. But please, let me be the first one to tell you, healing your shit is so much easier.

Seeking True Peace and Happiness:

My sweet little croissant, there are better places to find peace, love, and happiness than in toxic relationships or unfulfilling jobs. While that may be what you've known, that doesn't mean returning there will be good for you.

The Power of Choice and Freedom:

This is a reminder that you're never stuck and you always have a choice. When you take full responsibility for your life and your choices, the world opens up to you and each opportunity you choose opens up more and more aligned opportunities. When you embrace the power of choice, you realize that the power to shape your life as you choose is available.

Conclusion:

Your life is your own, and the choices you make are your own. Perhaps the only opportunities you've had so far are kind of crappy, but the better choices you make the better choices you get to make. The point of this episode is to help you see that you always have multiple options available to you. By reflecting on our own lives and identifying areas where we may be settling for less than we deserve, we can make positive changes.

Remember to tune in to the Root of Power podcast hosted for more actionable methods, interviews, and inspiring stories on chasing joy, finding alignment, and creating a life and business you love.

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